Cords, Keys, and Computer Keyboards (and paper but that ruins my aliteration)

My eleven month old daughter is quite the curious little thing and perfect for her generation as she loves all things “techy”: cordless telephones, cellular phones, her daddy’s blackberry, CD’s (okay, so that’s not her generation, more like MP3’s but she loves them anyway), the digital screen on my refridgerator and microwave and the “spaceship-esqe” control panel on my washer and dryer. But her favorite things are Cords, Keys, Computer Keyboards and paper (so not her generation….she must be an old soul ...lol).

The problem with this is that all her favorite things (..raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens….) are all either potentially harmful for her or potentially stressful for me. Let’s discuss.

1. Electrical cords: electrical, need I say more? I mean I guess I could let her play with a cord that’s not plugged in but is that really a good idea. She’s eleven months old for heavens sake, how is she supposed to distinguish between a cord that’s in the toybox and one with electrical currents flowing through it. So yeah, electrical. Enough said. (It doesn’t help that she likes to bite chew gnaw on them. That can’t be good for her teeth)

2. Keys: No I’m not talking about the little plastic, multi-colored keys that are actually made for babies. I’m talking about the metal, starts my car, has a keyless entry including a PANIC button (learned that the hard way) keys. I tried removing the keyless entry part but she still is so excited to be playing with a “no-no” object that she shakes them like crazy and ends up smacking herself in the head. Metal and babies, not the best combination.

3. Computer keyboards: bang bang bang. She helps out with lots of my emails. The problem is that the excitement gets a little out of control and I have to stop her before I lose my “CAPS LOCK” button. I love my CAPS LOCK button. I tried letting her use a keyboard NOT connected to a monitor but that was a no go. Apparently its not quite as fascinating when you don’t actually see what you are typing appear on the screen. Go Figure!

4. Paper: Oh my sweet little goat! Yeah I know this is not new and every child loves paper but I still don’t like it. First of all because I don’t see 3 servings of magazine pages anywhere in the food pyramid and second because she always manages to give herself a paper cut. And imagine if I didn’t see the paper cut and I fed her lemons for lunch (what mom feeds their baby lemons…..entertaining but just plain mean) what a disaster that would be? So you see, paper is no good either.

Is it too much to wish (I know, it is) that she was as interested in all the real toys that we paid real money for littering our living room floor? (Hold on, she’s trying to take a bite out of dear husband’s Ipod) So I guess what I’m saying is, anybody know a toy store that sells electrical cords that don’t electrocute, metal keys that don’t hurt when contact is made with the forehead indestructible computer keyboards and paper that doesn’t cut and cannot be swallowed? Anyone? Yeah I didn’t think so. Darn!